I am not going to give you all a blow-by-blow of all my dieting woes or the pain of being a fat person in a skinny world. There are many--I could do a blog on that alone. About how we are supposed to be tolerant of gays, blacks, hispanics, asians. Tolerant of people with disabilities and medical issues (diabetes comes to mind).

Obesity is the last acceptable form of discrimination. And in all I have learned on this journey, NOT ONE person wishes to be obese.

Obesity is not a choice. Holding onto this mindset is akin to holding onto the thought that women "ask for it" when they experience sexual harrassment. No, they don't. Neither do obese people "ask for it" by eating food.

Look at People magazine. They photograph star after star enjoying ice cream and everyone thinks it's wonderful. An obese person could eat the same size ice cream serving and everyone judges them--"what are they doing eating ice cream; like they need it."

I have dieted myself fat. Try not eating for 4 months and see what that does to your metabolism. I would venture to say that many (MANY) obese people have starved themselves into the size they are. I would also wager that they also have metabolic problems, thyroid issues, and hormonal imbalances which sets them up for failure simply by their DNA and genetic makeup.

Onward and upward, though--I need to get to the point where I can talk about my surgery before I forget a lot of it. I want this to be informative and accurate.

A friend of mine had bariatric surgery in 2008. She has--to date--lost 180 lbs. She has kept her weight off to date and has a whole new life.

I never would have considered this. My mind was pretty closed about bariatric surgery. I have tried so many diets and thought if I could just find "the one that would work for me" I wouldn't need to go that route.

Well, there isn't one that works--I believe I have tried them all. Dr. Phil asks the famous question: How's that workin' for you?. When I applied this to my attempts at weight loss, I had to say that it wasn't working too well.

I read a book written by a woman who had bariatric surgery. I didn't realize it at the time that my self education about bariatric surgery had begun. A shift in my thinking was taking place.

I talked with Barry about it and he didn't seem overly enthused. It didn't matter. Over the course of 2008, in watching Beth's success, my continued failure or ability to lose weight (the most recent being going to Weight Watchers and over the course of 26 weeks losing 6 lbs.) , I had made the decision I was going to try to go forward with bariatric surgery.

Oh lucky day! In some investigative work, I found out my company did cover bariatric surgery provided the patient had a BMI of >40. Cakers. I was at about 50 or so.

October 9, 2009, I had my first appointment with Dr. Neil Shepler. He is my sister's doctor and is a big believer in bariatric surgery for morbidly obese people. He works with Dr. Majed Jandali as the surgeon, and United Healthcare has an entire program (nutritionist, exercise physiologist, physical therapy, after care, etc.)

Next lucky thing: These doctors, although I was in Maryland and they were in Kenosha Wisconsin, were IN MY NETWORK!! YEE HA!

I met with both doctors that day. I had a long road before I could get my surgery done. Most insurance companies require:

• Six months seeing a doctor (documented) that you worked on a diet and exercise program;


• Visits with a nutritionist;


• Visit with an exercise physiologist;


• A psychological exam by someone who can document for insurance that you are a good candidate for surgery and a life with a changed "interior".

So every month, even through winter, I flew to Kenosha. I couldn't schedule anything with Dr. Jandali (surgeon) until I had all the above completed. We call it being admitted "past the golden door". My visits with the doctor were all productive. Not lengthy--they knew what they needed to ask and document. I found a wonderful psychologist that met with me and knew that I'd been doing a lot of mental preparation and I would be a good candidate for the surgery.

After my 6th appointment, it worked out that Dr. Shepler asked Dr. Jindali to do me a favor and see me the same day so we could get moving on submitting my entire documentation as soon as possible. I was anxious and hopeful to have the surgery done in June so I could be well on my way before the end of 2010.

My documentation was submitted to insurance. I found out that I shouldn't expect any answer for at least four weeks. Four weeks into waiting, I got my answer. I WAS APPROVED!!!

Unfortunately, because of the schedule at work, it didn't appear that I was going to be able to schedule right away. No, that would have to wait. So it was determined my surgery date would be October 6, 2010. Dr. Shepler would assist in surgery. It comforted me to know he would be there.